This lockdown has looked and felt very different to the previous ones. It's dark and cold outside and it can feel pretty hopeless inside too. So many parents I have spoken to are really struggling.
I'm wanted to share some of the things that are helping us. I'm not an expert, some days don't go well, others surprise me. But there are two main things that I think run through it all.
The first one is finding space. I've noticed more and more this time around that as soon as we get somewhere 'big' on our walks out (whether its the beach, the grounds of the Hall in the next village or even the car park), the children need to run. They need to feel the space, be small in somewhere big. And to be honest, so do I! We all need space, whether its from work, the house or each other.
Naming it
The most important thing to do is to recognise when you need space. Children are still learning what their emotions are and how to manage them so it helps when you give it a voice. To be honest, it's important that we tell them when we are getting frustrated too so they understand it. Quite a few times a day at the moment I find myself saying "Right, we're all getting a bit grumpy, let's take a break!".
Getting out
We get out everyday, I have to, I'm one of those people that cant stand being inside all day. Some days it might be a nice walk to the beach or the river near by, some days its a walk to the shop to buy the toothpaste I forgot we were running out of. But we take the scooters or the wellies, we jump in puddles or skid on the ice or race or even play walking on the moon. If we going out isn't an option (I'm an all weather kind of person but torrential rain doesnt really appeal) then we try and change the scenery inside. We might play taking toys on holiday to a different room or change the room we're in by making a Den or covering the floor in blankets to make the desert/a sea.
Doing something new
There are usually lots of things for the children to pick up and play around the house but sometimes they need a bit of direction. I've got a pile of colouring books they've forgotten about hidden away, a load of playdough in a draw and there are always toys somewhere to rediscover. Its still difficult when one wants space and the other doesn't. If I figure that out, I'll let you know!!
Free Time
It's really easy to over schedule the day. There's school work, housework, getting some exercise and doing fun things that we would like to do. But quite frankly, theres only a few days before things go stale (mainly for me!!) . We've found having a basic rhythm which we can change if we need to tends to work (just don't ask about the housework!!). This gives us space to have some free time which is essential play. Children need to be bored, that space is the start of creativity. Now my eldest is bigger (6), I can give her some timings ("We need to do your maths work at half past two") but I normally give them space after an activity for at least half and hour before we try anything new.
Show them how
Finally, I try and find time for me. Thats the hardest one and used to always happen once the girls were asleep but I read something earlier this week about how important it is for your children to see you wind down because it shows them how to do it. It's now my mission for the next few weeks to try and have time in the day to sit with a book or a cup of tea!
There are no hard and fast rules here, we're all just muddling through but I really want to sift through and find those treasures to take through to better days. If you have found some, please share them with us!
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