The 6th of January marks the feast of Epiphany. It is the day when we remember the Wise Men and the gifts which they brought to Jesus. I always wonder how Mary felt with these three strange travellers turning up on his doorstep with such meaningful presents. Sometimes a gift can carry a great weight with it.
The 6th January also marks a moment in my own journey. It was the day we brought my eldest home from hospital. She had been born in the evening the night before and we had spent a night in hospital with me on some pretty heavy pain relief trying to adjust to this little person. Taking her home on that day, we had several comments from people about her being our gift.
I remember seeing this little person in the car seat in our front room and wondering what on earth I was meant to do! I have never been a good 'baby person' and I found the responsibility of being a Mum a very hard and long journey in those first few months. The idea of this weight being a gift seemed very strange to me in those days. Years later, and having gone through the process again, I know that the girls are gifts and they bring so much joy to my life, as well as the responsibility which being a parent brings.
This idea of a gift carrying a weight brings me on to this young mum, over 2000 years ago, welcoming strange travellers into her home with a story of a bright star. I wonder how she felt when they unwrapped their gifts - Gold for a King, Frankincense for Divinity and Myrrh to mark death and suffering. How could she look at her small child and wonder what would this mean for him, what lay in store for his future. I wonder how the weight of these gifts lay on her shoulders.
We've entered another period of lockdown here and this time it seems harder. The days are colder, the girls are older and have more work or need more to occupy them. Spending afternoons playing out in the garden with the sand and paddling pool clearly isn't an option. I can look back over Spring and Summer 2020 and see that it was a gift and that in the time we spent together, we grew stronger and made some amazing memories. Today, the gift of that time together seems heavier, weighted with weariness and a worry for ourselves, the children's development and our families health. But there will be a time where we look back on this as the gift it truly was. I wonder how that will feel?
A very tired mum with a very small little person.
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